I'm going to do my best to balance my level of gratitude and frustration in this post. As we begin to approach the end of the year, there has been a shift in the classroom that, for some reason, I had not done a great job of anticipating. The light switch seemed to go off in a sense. We are all getting tired and can all see summer just around the corner. Driving home instruction, especially for seniors who are ready to move forward with the rest of their lives, can be like pulling teeth on some days. I don’t know why I didn’t anticipate it because I have certainly been in the same position almost every year for the last seventeen years of my life.
We
all feel this way at one point or another, no matter how much we may have
enjoyed the school year as a whole. What is more, is that we are also,
technically speaking, seniors ourselves. We want to get through this semester
so that we can start with the next chapter of our lives just as much as these
students do. Plans are beginning to fall into place for man and we are starting
to have some sort of idea of what we will be doing just a few short months from
now. It is exciting, but it is also difficult not to let it distract us from
where we are right now.
All
of this being said, I am incredibly appreciative of those students who do
continue to show up to class and who do continue to put in a ton of hard work.
They are the ones who continue keeping me in check and realize that I still
have a lot to work for this year. It’s not over yet. We may be a month out, but
they understand that we still have a lot of work to put in. It is exciting to
see those students who have struggled throughout most of the year find a sense
of urgency to get caught up with their work and stay focused in class.
On
a somewhat related note, I had the honor of writing my first letter of
recommendation for one of my students this past week. She needed somebody who
was not technically one of her teachers and could function as a reference from
an outside community member. And she chose me to write it for her. Now it would
have been nice if I had more than two days notice, but I’m not going to
complain too much about that. It was a real honor to be able to recommend a
student for a scholarship, especially one who is as deserving as she is.
I
suppose the point of this blog post is to just let you all know that if you’re
feeling the end of the year weighing upon you, you aren’t alone. But we need to
get through it on a strong note. The stronger we are getting through the year,
the stronger our students are going to be as well.
Of course we are nearing the end, but I feel like I am finally getting into my stride! I'm actually grading at school instead of waiting until 2 a.m. I am planning lessons with less apprehension, trusting in my instincts a lot more. I am more comfortable when my plans don't go just right and I have to improvise with my students. I am extremely excited to graduate and I'm nervous that I won't get hired for next year (the normal worry at this time of the year), but I'm also feeling more confident than ever, and I am very grateful to our school, CT's, and professors for preparing us.
ReplyDeleteYou are exactly right: we are feeling much of the same thoughts and emotions that our students are. I've even had this discussion with a few of my seniors. It has seemed to help a few of them to know that I'm more than just a teacher, but a human as well, and that I'm also excited for the summer and the opportunities that it will bring. By having the talk, I can point out that though I understand how they feel, we all have to continue doing what is needed in the classroom whether it be planning lessons or learning them. For some of these students, this discussion has helped to get them to see that I am not just a tyrant trying to tell them what to do for another month, but someone on their side.
ReplyDeleteI'm having similar issues with my seniors. In fact, less than half of the seniors in my four English IV classes showed up today. The most frightening part is that they have a HUGE 275 point project due in exactly three weeks that, if they neglect to turn in, will result in them not graduating! :( That's not to say that I'm not catching myself doing my own mental drifting...I'm in my last week of my final unit and then will teach each day of the upcoming days that my CT has to be gone for district meetings. I'm glad to have several days where I will be in control of the room still so I don't become a gargoyle in the back, but at the same time I'm beginning to feel like Charlie Brown on the phone with his mother - Wah wah-wah waaah :P
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